Gay & Lesbian Counselling Service
Introduction
The world is changing, the is far more equality on Gay & Lesbian rights and acceptance of Gay &Lesbian people. However, there is also still alot of homophobia and expectation that Gay & Lesbian people should have a heterosexual lifestyle. There are also a lot of different cultural attitudes to Gay & Lesbian people and given the cultural diversity in London, TalkTherapyLondon offers a private and confidential service to help with all life issues, and has Gay & Lesbian Counsellors available.

Coming Out to Yourself

Before you can come out to anyone else, you have to come out to yourself. There is no hard and fast rule when this happens. Some people are certain of their sexuality from a very young age; for others it can happen much later in life. Accepting the conclusion that one is gay, lesbian or bisexual hopefully is easier nowadays than it has been in the past. Attitudes are somewhat more accepting and there are now more people living openly gay and lesbian lives than there has been in the recent past. However the decision to come out to yourself can still be a very scary one and can be a period of upheaval and uncertainty. If you want someone to talk to during this time, then TalkTherapyLondon can provide a space to explore your feelings. There is also the Gay and Lesbian switchboard. See contacts below.

Coming Out to Others

Families often have detailed plans for their children and can be very upset when it becomes clear that not all their hopes are going to be realised. Similarly friends and other groups may have their own very definite opinions or prejudices. It is important that you come out to people who will validate and celebrate your new found sexuality as well as to people who may question it. You may also want to talk over the situation in detail first.

Look for sympathetic people to come out to first.
Follow your own timetable - it's your life and your sexuality. Don't feel you have to tell people until you are ready.
Don't assume people are homophobic just because they make anti-gay jokes. Often people haven't really thought the thing through, and don't do so until someone close to them comes out.
Sadly the opposite can also be true. Just because people claim to be politically correct -- or Christian -- doesn't mean that they cannot be quite fixed and judgemental in their view of gays and lesbians.
Everyone doesn't have to know. Many people -- such as Department Staff -- will consider your sexuality is your own business. You don't have to share it with them unless you particularly want to.
Don't be too put off by an initial bad reaction. Many people react badly when they are faced with something that has shocked them. However, what is said can always be unsaid -- even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.
Choose your medium. If you are worried that someone will be very hostile, writing might give them time to assimilate the news better.
Never feel guilty! Easier said than done, but once we start blaming ourselves for other's bad reactions to us we are on the road to depression. None of us has control over how we are so we don't need to apologise for it.

Sexual Health

It is important that anyone who is sexually active takes care of their health. This applies particularly to gay men since in this country the HIV virus affects them more than other groups. In particular remember that you do not need to go to your GP for advice if you are concerned about them knowing about your sexuality. Other local sources of help are listed on the page.

See Counsellor Resources for some web links

London Lesbian & Gay Switchboard

Terrence Higgins Trust

Freedoms Website including a list of sexual health clinics

TalkTherapyLondon can help in supporting you with a general life issues or specific Gay & Lesbian issues. We can provide a Gay & lesbian counsellor and an open space to discuss your agenda. Sessions start from £35 so why not contact us and take the next step.

CLICK ON THE DOOR TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP